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Active listening is an approach to entertaining with another person who is very consciously and controlled. It is a way to bring security and understanding of the discussions of emotionally charged or difficult topics. I help to help couples learn to learn active hearing techniques to improve their interpersonal communication. First, these techniques can feel ineptly feel and a little enforced, but once practiced and perfected, these skills can enable as a couple to avoid conflicts while discussing the most important topics in a relationship.
The aim of active listening is to topple personal feelings aside, distraction and use techniques to really understand what someone says. This includes the paraphrases, summarize and questions open questions. You must try not to judge or argue or evaluate what your partner says just try to hear it and understand it. The only goal is to understand. Time, how our minds already formulate reactions or to assume understanding while our partners speak. That is not enough for harder talks. Eye contact and suitable body language are also crucial.
rewrite what the speaker says and repeat the statement questioned. For example, if the speaker said, "I'm angry with you because you have not cleaned the bathroom!" You could say, "They are mad at me because I did not tidy the bathroom. Is that right?"
Listen to the underlying emotion. For example, if you say your partner, "My boss was common today when he said my work was terrible." They could say "they blade excitedly, let's talk about it" or "it sounds like she's really hurt your feelings."
ask you clear questions to make sure you understand what your partner says. For example, if you say your partner, "my employee who feels so stupid!" You could say, "it sounds like they're pretty angry. It must have been embarrassing. Tell me what happened?"
encourage the speaker to talk the conversation by let's know that you hear. Make direct eye contact. Use open, receiving body language. No crossed arms or knocking feet. Nod your head and make comments that promote more communication like "Okay, Lot Next". Or "tell me more."
Feelings before attaching
Approaching the conversation with the belief that the spokesman has the ability to solve the problem for yourself. Resist the temptation to offer advice or give opinions about what the speaker says. Remember the only hears and recycle . If you have to ask a fixing question, wait until the end of active listening and then they say and "what do you think, what can you do?" If your partner draws a space, give them time and encourage them to think of some solutions. Do not judge the solutions, just stop them active. This can be one of the most difficult parts of no fixing rule. In order not to enable a critical brainstorm of solutions.
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