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Do you ever see yourself, just waiting for someone to stop talking to tell her, or you have an answer before you're done? I'm pretty sure we all do, and I'm pretty sure it's not a good way to communicate. Normally, the other person feels that they were not heard, and that sucks.
Active listening is a simple but powerful technique to take what someone says. It can:
It starts to hear with without formulating a response (even if you die) . Now you might think that the tosh is because you are heard? Be patient, it could train really well for you.
Next Repeat the reset, what you (as close as possible, and without changing, so it will be an answer). Now is a good time to ask if what you said, exactly ... if it was great! If not, ask them to say the bits they miss again, and repeat what they have heard this time.
The most likely results are:
If the third result is what you find, or you want, try a bit, try to repeat what you hear, but in your own words (ie paraphrasing ) . That is, you must show you that you understand the meaning of what was said. This is again a good time to check if your interpretation was exactly.
for example ... Repeating :
person 1 : "I'm crackled when I come home, and I just want to cool a bit"
person 2 repeatedly : "You are cracked when you come home and you just want to cool a bit, is that right?"
person 1 : "Yes, that's right"
or person 2 repeats: "You are cracked and want before you come home is right?"
person 1 : "almost ... I want to come home after I come home,"
person 2 : "They are cracked when they come home, and they only want to cool"
person 1 : "Yes, that's right"
Examples ... Paraphrasing :
person 1 : "I'm crackled when I come home, and I just want to cool a bit"
person 2 paraphrases : "work is hard and you need some time for yourself when you come home, is what you mean?"
person 1 : "Yes, that's right"
or person 2 paraphrases: "Work is hard and you need some time for yourself when you come home is what you mean?"
person 1 : "No ... the work is hard, but I want to sit and have a glass of wine with you and talk 10 minutes about my day"
person 2 : "The work is hard and you want to talk about a glass of wine for 10 minutes"
person 1 : "Yes, that's right"
repetition and rebooking could simply appear, but it can take practice, and just parrot, what someone says that someone says, but first a bit strange, but ...
It is very often an effective way to improve communication because promotes the feeling that it is heard
...and that can be afraid to reduce connections and support empathy
( If you do not believe that you just notice how your order is repeated in a restaurant / fast food chains, so you do not worry that you understand it wrong, and you feel better To the location ).
And when they are frustrated to not answer, the active handset works best if they alternately take not only defensive 'yes, but "(for example) back and forward.
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